Wednesday, September 28, 2005

There's always a booze angle

US House of Representatives Majority Leader Tom DeLay was indicted today for laundering illegal corporate campaign contributions into the races for Texas legislature seats, so that he could gerrymander the state's congressional districts.

Amongst the laundered donations is $20,000 from Bacardi, and so in the spirit of keyboarding activism, we strongly encourage our vast readership to boycott Bacardi products. We have in the past criticised Diageo for their stewardship of the Guinness "brand" (as they would say), but their "brand portfolio" (as they would say) includes several fine rum products -- Bundaberg, Cacique, Captain Morgan, Myers's, and Pampero -- which we strongly recommend for all your rum consumption needs.

Of course in this day and age, what was once a single product is now itself a conglomerate, so Bacardi has a brand portfolio of its own. For instance, Bacardi now owns the French vodka producer Grey Goose, amongst whose competitors is Belvedere -- thus putting Missy Elliot on the right side of our new endorsement:

Don't I look like a Halle Berry poster
See the Belvedere playin' tricks on ya


as opposed to the honourary member of the Wayne Rooney posse, 50 Cent:

We gon' party like it's yo birthday
We gon' sip Bacardi like it's your birthday


Begin planning now to sip non-Bacardi products like it's your birthday when Bill Frist, Tom DeLay, and Karl Rove are all under indictment or in jail at the same time.

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